A Child’s Basic Needs

This emotional needs checklist can help parents identify what might be missing and what’s needed for their child when their child’s behavior shows that they’re out of balance. If your child’s behavior is aggressive, chaotic, hyperactive, withdrawn or otherwise problematic on a regular basis, this will be symptomatic of some unmet needs.

Happy, Confident, Co-Operative children generally …

  • Feel safe and secure.
  • Feel loved and liked.
  • Feel warmly connected to.
  • Feel listened to, understood and acknowledged, they believe “my thoughts and feelings are important in our family”.
  • Feel respected and valued – spoken to, looked at and touched respectfully.
  • Feel encouraged and supported – lots of positive reflection.
  • Can express their needs for help, attention and support without fear.
  • Are allowed and supported to express their strong feelings – If they don’t get it out, they will act it out.
  • Are not afraid to make mistakes.
  • Feel safe and secure in the confidence that they will be taught and guided with patience and tolerance, not punished.
  • Do not fear that their parents/ caregiver’s will hurt them using anger, rejection or punishments.
  • Go to sleep each night feeling loved and cherished – all conflicts repaired.
  • Eat enough fresh healthy food and water.
  • Live in a smoke free, drug free environment and are not exposed to their caregivers being intoxicated.
  • Are not overly stressed or pressured to perform (there’s a big difference between being encouraged or forced).
  • Are free to largely learn at their own pace.
  • Have lots of fun, play and laughter with family and friends.
  • Spend quality time and lots of free play in nature.
  • Are protected from over-exposure to TV, computers, screens and particularly protected from adults themes.
  • Are protected from sexual abuse. Parents need to teach children healthy boundaries as well as self-educate to better identify risks.
  • Live in an emotionally responsible, healthy and mature family – where integrity is valued and healthy communication skills are practiced.
  • Have healthy, mature role models to aspire to. Kids need real life heros!
  • Get enough sleep, rest and down time (reading, art, free play etc).
  • Have adults who spend time talking with them.
  • Feel proud of and connected to their identity, family and culture.
  • Feel supported, not overpowered, when problem solving.
  • Share family meals and quality family time.
  • Get regular quality one on one time with their parent(s).
  • Feel confident that conflicts can be worked through and learned from together.

Source: https://www.peacefulparent.com/basic-needs-checklist-for-parents/


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